I was such a dumb kid
When I was too old to run away from home
And joined the Navy instead,
Surprised my dad cried when he dropped me off downtown
To be arbitrarily placed under the command
Of some asshole kid just like me
For the train ride to Great Lakes.
We were met by a Chaplin,
Who told us it was okay to say fuck
If while driving we got into an accident
Because we were rubber-necking a pretty skirt,
Or because we hit our thumb with a hammer,
Preparing our virgin ears, I suppose
for the realities of military life.
The next morning my company commander said
Our job was to protect America
From people like some concert goers the night before
Who got out of hand because Sly was a no show
Which seemed to mean people like me
Because I didn’t go with my friends
Because I Joined the Navy instead.
In boot camp they confirmed what a dumb kid I was
By teaching me everything
My mama and daddy taught me was wrong,
How to say yes sir and no sir,
How to respect the uniform no matter
How ill-fitting it was on someone of superior rank,
How to hurry up and wait,
How to dance with a rifle,
How to do things in the most tedious manner possible,
And how to swear like a sailor.
It wasn’t until after book camp,
Where once again my naiveté showed itself
When I signed up for submarines
Under the false assumption
Fifty bucks extra a month was a good deal,
That I learned how to drink like one.
No comments:
Post a Comment